Anxiety. You’re Not Alone!

You are not alone.

“That’s such an irrational thing to worry about.”  “Everything is fine, stop freaking out.” or “You have to know that is not going to happen.”

If you struggle with anxiety and have tried to vent to friends or relatives I’m sure you’ve heard these responses before.

I get that the stuff I worry about makes no sense, or isn’t anything I can control, or is something I will never know for sure. My rational brain completely understands that. But, unfortunately my the part of my brain that gives my awesome anxiety doesn’t give a shit what my rational brain thinks or knows. It says “But what if it’s not an irrational fear?” But what if everything isn’t fine?” “But what if it does happen?!”

I have struggled with anxiety on and off since I was young, and I want you to know you aren’t alone! Millions of other people feel the same way, and think the same thoughts. Even if others don’t understand why you think the way you do, or even poke fun at you for it, I get it. I and tons of others know what you go through at night when you can’t sleep. What you think when you have to meet new people, or go somewhere by yourself.

Keep your head high and know that you are not alone. And look at these cool things I found on the internet.

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Liebster Award

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First an foremost a thank you to Zaynah’s Life for nominating me.

For those of you that don’t know (like myself until I looked it up) a Liebster Award is something akin to a chain letter that bloggers tag other bloggers in to learn a little bit more about them, and also give their readers a chance to see what blogs they follow and go check them out too! This is normally a thing for newer blogs or blogs without very many followers, which I think makes it all the better. Bloggers helping other bloggers is amazing to see, and for me it means a lot that anyone reads the stupidity I write to begin with, so again thank you Zaynah!

Now on to the questions!

1. What is your most fond childhood memory? My step father’s band playing in the back yard of my childhood house, while my mother’s friends jammed along and tall colored candles dripped onto themselves and the ground. I would then entertain myself by breaking the dripped wax off and putting it in the freezer to eventually have my mom melt back down into new candles.

2. Top 5 favourite movies! God, I hate questions like this. I hate choosing. In no particular order… Clockwork Orange, Pulp Fiction, Devils Rejects/House of 1000 Corpses (I know I cheated), Goodfellas, Alive Inside.

3. Have you ever dyed your hair? If not, would you? I haven’t had my natural hair color since I was 12-13. With my first bit of allowance I bought a bleach kit and manic panic “fishbowl green” dye and looked like an anime character for a few weeks (the uniform school I was attending in Alabama at the time threatened to suspend me if I didn’t dye it back to a natural color, and I didn’t really give a shit so I caved) Then its been brown, black, dark blue, dark red, almost pink, but mostly blonde.

4. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I was a daydreamer. In my spare time I was always up a tree, or reading a book, or listening to music. I didn’t have any “adult” type dreams or aspirations. More like “I wonder if mom will take me to the pool tomorrow” or “I bet school next year will be fun”. I was, what I would call, a hippie nerd. I loved school and had to have my 8 hours before class, especially if there was test the next day. If not I got mad at my parents for keeping me out too late. But since I was smart homework was done quickly and then I was back outside staring at the clouds or looking for rolly-polleys.

5. What is the most precious item you own? I don’t own either of the things I automatically think of anymore. The one that I will talk about is a necklace my grandfather on my dad’s side gave to me shortly after I got to meet him around my 16th birthday. It was expensive, and I don’t know how he afforded it, but most of all it came with a letter, which was thrown away as well, that I remember was so well worded and so full of love for me even though he didn’t know me, and sadness for not being in my life sooner. He died shortly after I received it, and I was told my letter back to him made him the happiest anyone close to him had seen in years. So although I don’t have the necklace anymore, I’ll always know I made his last days better.

6. Do you have a favourite book or author? Yay a lighter topic lol. I was a huuuuge fan of Ender’s Game! Totally sucked into it. And I was handed down Stephen King, Anne Rice, and John Grisham novels from my mommy so they have a special place in my heart too.

7. Bit of a weird one but do you think aliens exist? The universe is so big that anyone that thinks we are the only intelligent life form in it is ignorant and needs to read more.

8. Which subject do/did you enjoy studying most? I enjoyed English until I decided to take the AP version in high school haha. Other than that I liked French (even though I don’t remember any of it, and I took 4 years of it), and Science.

9.Which city would you most like to visit? Every single one of them! But if I had to pick, Freiburg, Germany since my mother’s family is originally from that area.

10. Have you got a signature recipe? No, and I don’t know if I ever will. I like to change it up, and I don’t consider myself a master of any dish or cuisine.

11. Who is the person you admire most? God, getting deep again. I’m going to have to be unoriginal and say my Mother. I know more about her and her life than I do any one else’s so I feel like I truly know what she’s been though, and fuck was it a lot. We haven’t always been close, and had long stretches of time where we didn’t speak, but she has been through shit and come out on top. She is a survivor and no matter what knows she can count on herself and her ability to overcome to get her though anything. She may be crazy, but she’s my crazy. Love yah mom.

Alrighty, now my turn to ask some questions.

What artist or song sums up your childhood?

What is your most embarrassing moment?

What country is on your bucket list to visit?

What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

Favorite book that you think everyone should read?

Bill Nye the Science Guy or Neil DeGrasse Tyson?

What would your life motto be and why?

Do you snooze your alarms or immediately get up?

Favorite Disney movie?

Candles or Air Freshener?

If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would spend the money on?

And I nominate Zaynah’s Life, Zoë’s Clothes, Bumascloset, My Adventures in Dinner Time and Ali Chat to answer them!

I would like everyone that wants to answer them to do so in the comments too!

Netflix Boredom Recommendations

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I am constantly asking my friends and family for shows and movies to watch next on Netflix (I’ll admit, I’m addicted). Soo I thought it would be nice to throw some out there for anyone looking for something new to watch too.

1. Breaking Bad : If you haven’t already (where have you been?!) do it. Just do it.

2. The Office : Once again I don’t know where you’ve been living if you haven’t at least watched one episode, but this show is on another level. Its a comedy so of course it’s funny, but it manages to be while still developing characters and getting you invested in them (Some serious feels in here).

3. Bob’s Burger : Tina is my spirt animal. This is my favorite animated show ever, yes I said ever. It’s about a family that work/lives above a burger joint, but the show is rarely ever solely focused on that. For me, the characters are relatable and hilarious since I come from a pretty weird bunch. Although I wouldn’t recommend for “children”, teenagers and above should be able to appreciate and know better than to repeat if the odd adult joke goes a little far.

4. Mr. Nobody : As a fan of “Requiem for a Dream” (not on Netflix, but if you have the chance watch it) this cerebral thriller is out there, in a great way. Its not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m not going to even try to explain the plot, but it’s definitely worth a watch.

5. Upstream Color : This is another WTF kind of movie. I’ve watched it twice and I’m still not sure what actually happens. It’s a mind control/social experiment/identity theft/screw you up type of move. Confused yet? I am. Just press play.

6. The Mind of a Chef : Being a HUGE fan of anything Anthony Bourdain does, the fact that he produced and narrated this show was a big part of why I watched to begin with, but the chefs featured (and who’s kidding, the eyegasam inducing food too) kept me watching. Go PBS!!

7. Three Stars : I am a foodie at heart and stuff like this really gets me going. This is a semi documentary about restaurants trying/or talking about having 3 Michelin Stars, aka the highest award a chef/restaurant can attain. Drool and travel fantasy inducing

This is not an all inclusive list, just a few to get you started. I couldn’t list all the things I’ve loved on Netflix.

If you would like a list of what to watch on Amazon Prime, or just a favorite movies to TV shows list, let me know in the comments. Hope this helps you find something new!